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In 1973, when all the arguments were presented to the American Psychiatric Association both for and against the idea of homosexuality as pathology, it was the personal disclosures of gay men that had the most influence. Listening to their stories of frustration in treatment–and their newfound happiness through acceptance of a gay identity–the American Psychiatric Association voted to omit homosexuality as a diagnostic category. Now, twenty years later, Dr. Joseph Nicolosi presents the opposite kind of personal testimony. This testimony is from homosexual men who have tried to accept a gay identity but were dissatisfied, and then benefitted from psychotherapy to help free them of homosexuality. While each client has his unique story, Nicolosi has chosen eight men as representative of the personalities he has encountered in the twelve years during which he has treated over 200 homosexual clients. These men are engaged in a "two-front war"–an internal assault against their own unwanted desires, and an external battle against a popular culture that does not understand or value their struggle. In their own words, we hear these men's struggles to develop healthy, non-erotic male friendships. We hear of their fear and anger toward the men in their lives, and their strained relationships with the fathers they never understood. Nicolosi contends that every man possesses aspects of these clients: The frailty of Albert, the integrity of Charlie, the rage of Dan, the narcissism of Steve, and the ambivalence of Roger, to list some of them.
Some readers of this book may be surprised by the directive style of Dr. Nicolosi's therapeutic intervention. In part, this is due to the editorial synthesis of the transcript. More importantly, however, reparative therapy does require a more involved therapist–a benevolent provocateur who departs from the tradition of uninvolved, opaque analyst to become a salient male presence. The therapist must balance active challenge with warm encouragement to follow the father-son model. T
- Sales Rank: #399299 in eBooks
- Published on: 1997-11-01
- Released on: 2012-08-20
- Format: Kindle eBook
Review
Dr. Nicolosi has abandoned the neutral posture of classical psychoanalysts and treats only those men who wish to give up homosexuality. An independent thinker, he has gone against the current fashion of promoting the unsubstantiated, unverifiable opinion that homosexuality is genetic, or preferred, or simply another way of loving. He has produced a book whose clarity, simplicity, and honesty will be of real value to the public and professionals alike. (Toby Bieber Ph.D.)
This insightful and readable book will help therapists and patients alike. Today, Gay Affirmative Therapy rightly demands respect for patients' own goals. In that spirit, one must respect some gay men's unhappiness with their identities and lifestyles. Reparative therapy, as the author says, does not explain all homosexuality, and it is not right for all gay men, but it can allow some to claim what they desire. What is repaired is self-esteem and relatedness to others. (Arno Karlen, author of Sexuality and Homosexuality)
For many reasons, Dr. Nicolosi's Healing Homosexuality is uplifting for the mental health field. It is compelling support for those who continue to see homosexuality in the realm of treatable clinical conditions. It is supportive of psychoanalytic understanding and therapy for homosexuality that is based on 80-plus years of research into the causation of this clinical condition. It offers hope to the many thousands of gay men and women who seek relief from their homosexuality. And it invigorates the necessary dialogue among those for whom the issue of homosexuality remains in contention. (Benjamin Kaufman, M.D., Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, University of California School of Medicine)
This book should be required reading for anyone treating homosexuals (including gay therapists). It offers hope to many homosexuals who may have succumbed to despair. It enlightens in a highly readable, page-turning form those already familiar with some of the dynamics of the condition as well as the methods most effective for its amelioration and cure. (Charles W. Socarides, M.D., Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Albert Einstein College of Medicine)
From the Back Cover
In 1973, when all the arguments were presented to the American Psychiatric Association both for and against the idea of homosexuality as pathology, it was the personal disclosures of gay men that had the most influence. Listening to their stories of frustration in treatment - and their newfound happiness through acceptance of a gay identity - the American Psychiatric Association voted to omit homosexuality as a diagnostic category. Now, twenty years later, Dr. Joseph Nicolosi presents the opposite kind of personal testimony. This testimony is from homosexual men who have tried to accept a gay identity but were dissatisfied, and then benefited from psychotherapy to help free them of homosexuality. While each client has his unique story. Nicolosi has chosen eight men as representative of the personalities he has encountered in the twelve years during which he has treated over 200 homosexual clients. These men are engaged in a "two-front war" - an internal assault against their own unwanted desires, and an external battle against a popular culture that does not understand or value their struggle. In their own words, we hear these men's struggles to develop healthy, non-erotic male friendships. We hear of their fear and anger toward the men in their lives, and their strained relationships with the fathers they never understood. Nicolosi contends that every man possesses aspects of these clients: the frailty of Albert, the integrity of Charlie, the rage of Dan, the narcissism of Steve, and the ambivalence of Roger, to list some of them. Some readers of this book may be surprised by the directive style of Dr. Nicolosi's therapeutic intervention. In part, this is due to the editorial synthesisof the transcript. More importantly, however, reparative therapy does require a more involved therapist - a benevolent provocateur who departs from the tradition of uninvolved, opaque analyst to become a salient male presence. The therapist must balance active challenge with warm encouragement to follow the father-son model. This is an essential principle of reparative therapy.
About the Author
Joseph Nicolosi, Ph.D., is founder and Clinical Director of the Thomas Aquinas Psychological Clinic, and co-founder of the National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. Dr. Nicolosi received his training at the New School for Social Research and the California School of Professional Psychology. He is a member of the American Psychological Association and the California Psychological Association. Dr. Nicolosi is the author of Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality and numerous professional articles. He is a frequent lecturer and is in private practice in Encino, California.
Most helpful customer reviews
34 of 48 people found the following review helpful.
An utterly stunning set of case histories
By A Customer
I am not a recovering homosexual. I am a recovering heterosexual. Mr Nicolosi's book convinced me of that.
I don't believe there is anything in any way wrong with being gay and I am quite agnostic on where gay-ness comes from. I am inclined to believe that there are a fair number of gay men who just are, and were always going to be, gay. On the other hand I believe there are very many gay men whose sexual orientation can very plausibly be explained by looking at their childhood environment.
If there is any major criticism I would have of Mr Nicolosi's analysis it is that he doesn't leave enough room for the possibility that many gay men just are gay full stop; nothing to do with environment; no question of it being any other way.
On the other hand his collection of case studies highlights the other side of the coin - the men who could have grown up quite differently - in a way I have never seen elsewhere. Reading the stories I heard many of my innermost feelings e! xpressed by others for the very first time. No particular case fitted my own exactly, but most contained some insight which made me smile or weep with recognition.
The overriding theme is the role of fathers in boys' gender identity and what can happen when fathers are absent, weak, laughable, violent, demanding and more, and when sons are timid, introverted, weak and, crucially, alienated from male life.
Nicolosi backed up, to an extent I could not have imagined possible, my own analysis of my sexuality. Almost all my life my primary erotic impulse was towards men. Why didn't I simply accept that I was gay? Quite simply, because I became more and more aware as time went on that my gayness wasn't a joyful sexuality. It wasn't just a preference for the male form and male company. More than anything it stemmed from a chronic failure of gender identity which also denied me self-respect. Becoming non-gay is just a side effect of what I, and Nicolosi's patients, really need to ! achieve: to take charge of our lives, assume our sense of o! ur own maleness and thereby learn to love ourselves.
21 of 29 people found the following review helpful.
Proof that change is possible
By A Customer
Whatever your opinion is off reparative therapy for homosexuals, it is difficult not to admire and emphathize with the struggles of the brave souls presented in this book. In a very frank conversational tone (the words are taken directly from therapy sessions) readers observe the painful struggles of those who chose to leave the gay lifestyle behind. The discussions also present a clear picture of the causes of homosexuality and prove that change is a realistic although difficult goal for those who seek hetrosexuality.
One small complaint is that either Dr. Nicolosi or his editors chopped too much out of certain stories. More details in several cases would have been a plus.
35 of 51 people found the following review helpful.
Excellent Book for the recovering homosexual
By A Customer
In my personal struggles to overcome homosexuality, no other book short of the Scriptures has brought the issues I deal with into such clarity. Dr. Nicolosi describes six men and their recovery from the hurt, confusion, and struggle of same-gender attraction. It is easy reading yet contains life-changing ideas in a single sentence or paragraph. The book clearly helps men who love other men see why they are succeptible to homosexuality and gives sound, empowering, and true methods of overcoming that which saps many men of their masculinity. Unlike other books which treat symptoms, Healing Homosexuality gives a cure for the sickness.
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